OK. OK. The fact that adults ever indulged this type of entertainment—that is, a song about muskrats in love (or at least a song that likens human love to that of muskrats*) sung by an adult, illustrated by prehistoric graphics of other adults in chipmunk muskrat costumes literally acting out the words of the song and performing a Michaels and McElroy-style dance on the brim of the CAPTAIN’S HAT—this, along with Jonestown, is as much evidence as I need to believe that we might have needed the harsh plasticene ’80s after all.
*From Hinterlands Who’s Who; file under “Muskrats are charming”: The muskrat’s name is derived from the fact that the animal has two special musk glands—also called anal glands—situated beneath the skin in the region of the anus. These glands enlarge during the breeding season and produce a yellowish, musky-smelling substance that is deposited at stations along travel routes used by muskrats. Common sites of deposition are “toilets,” bases of lodges, and conspicuous points of land. The biology of musk glands has not been studied extensively, but the odour produced is believed to be a means of communication among muskrats, particularly during the breeding season.